The Christmas season gets better every time you watch National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation, with plenty of hilarious quotes. The film stars Clark Griswold, who struggles to give his family the perfect Christmas holiday. However, everything keeps falling apart, but with its eccentric and humorous nature, everything is better.

The humor in National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation is one of a kind. Let’s start with the endless list of tragedies that befall Santa Claus as he tries to deliver his last gift to the family. And while we all struggle to create the perfect holiday, here are the ten best quotes from National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation.

10 Hilarious Quotes From National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation

10. “Welcome to our home—what’s left of it.” — Ellen Griswold.

This is an epic scene from this movie!

via YouTube/THESSALONIAN31N

9. “Whoa, geez! Look at the time. I gotta get to bed—and brush my teeth, feed the hog, do the laundry, wash the car, still got some homework to do.” — Rusty Griswold.

This is the typical response from a kid wanting to get out of helping dad put up the Christmas lights…These are the endless lists of senseless excuses we make to get out of something. Some of you have already started coming up with them. Maybe you’re even using them as we speak to get out of traveling to your ‘Holiday crazy’ relative’s home.

8. “Yeah, and it’s about my mother accusing your mother of buying cheap hot dogs, and your mother accusing my mother of waxing her upper lip, and then they don’t speak to each other – Ellen Griswold

Families will always have some members, especially in-laws, quarreling for something minute. When you get together with your family, I bet you already know who will start what with whom. And that’s what the holiday is about, pun intended.

7. “And why is the carpet all wet, Todd?” — Margo.

In National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation, some hilarious quotes come from Clark’s neighbors. The neighboring couple has to endure sharing some of Clark’s family mishaps.

6.”If that thing had nine lives, she just spent ’em all.” — Cousin Eddie.

Cousin Eddie has a dark sense of humor in the film. He mirrors that one uncle in every family who’s always living a carefree life. Also, these uncles often own the darkest sense of humor in all families.

5. “Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere and leave you for dead?” — Clark Griswold.

Every family has that one relative they wish to ‘rid’ of from their backs. For Clark, its cousin Eddie has been a nuisance for as long as he can remember. Such members often brag about their success while comparing them to your failures.

4. We’re not driving all the way out here, so you can get one of those stupid ties with the Santa Clauses on it, are we dad? – Audrey 

No, I have one of those at home. -Clark Griswold

How many Christmas traditions does your family have? Sometimes, we have family members who would ‘crack the earth open’ to ensure all traditions have been adhered to. And these customs might end up being less meaningful to the season.

3. “If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn’t be more surprised.” — Clark Griswold.

Clark’s family has been going through an endless list of mishaps in his quest for the perfect Christmas celebration party. With all that’s been going on, he wouldn’t be surprised with whatever tragedy may befit them.

2. “Where do you think you’re going? Nobody’s leaving. Nobody’s walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no. We’re all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here. We’re gonna press on, and we’re gonna have the hap-hap-happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny f*cking Kaye. And when Santa squeezes his fat white *ss down that chimney tonight, he’s gonna find the jolliest bunch of *ssholes this side of the nuthouse.” – Clark Griswold.

Hitting that perfect Christmas is often very demanding and, sometimes, ends up in chaos. But if you have been with a perfectionist relative, you certainly understand this quote. Christmas’ perfectionists’ never give up. You’ll sit through everything, no matter how terrible they look.

1. “What is it? A letter confirming your reservation at the nuthouse?” — Grandpa Art

The sarcasm in some sarcastic family members. When you’ve tried your best to make a Christmas celebration, you sometimes force your family into doing crazy activities to fulfill your customs. In turn, you may end up looking crazy.

About National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation

In this article, we have tried not to ruin the film for those who have yet to watch it. And if you still need to watch the film, you are past due. National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation is a hilarious movie depicting any Christmas household’s imperfections.

The 1989 film stars;

  • Chevy Chase as Clark Griswold
  • Beverly D’Angelo as Ellen Griswold
  • Nicolette Scorsese as Mary
  • Juliette Lewis as Audrey Griswold
  • Johnny Galecki as Russell Griswold
  • Randy Quaid as Cousin Eddie and more

Over thirty years after its release, the movie is still such a hit. With the epic settings and the difficult continuous events, you’re sure to keep watching it over and over. The film introduced a nice mix of actors with a good blend of their characters.

The script is also fantastic and has an endless list of hilarious moments. If it’s not the actors being funny, you can bet there will be something else funny happening around. The additional neighbors also add to the fun of innocently receiving all the bad things happening in Clark’s home.

With that said, it’s time to get this classical vacation film and enjoy it with your family. Find out more quotes and determine which quotes will be your favorite this Christmas. Meanwhile, enjoy our list of the ten best Christmas quotes from National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation.